Orders of Love and Families •
• Orders of Life
- What if the issues in our lives are doorways to resolving patterns in our family system going back generations?
- What
if the problems we face began not with us but with those who came
before us? What if we are putting their stories ahead of our own?
- What
if, by making peace with our ancestors, we bring peace into our lives,
engage in living our lives to the fullest, and clear the path for our
children as well?
The concept: What is it?
We
all belong to a family system, which means we inherit traditions, life
stories, and ways of being. This is not about choice; we are all born
into our family system, and its patterns move through us unconsciously.
Family
systems operate according to natural orders, just as we may observe in
the natural world. Being in alignment with these natural orders allows
us to be the very best of our human selves.
First
among these orders is that everyone belongs! So, if one of
us—consciously or unconsciously, now or generations ago—is not included
or acknowledged as having his or her place, the family system (family
conscience) takes note of this, and the exclusion has repercussions for
everyone in the family, possibly for generations.
These
orders of love are natural, and yet family systems—for any number of
reasons—violate them, often without realizing it. The result is hurtful
patterns at best, sickness and early death at worst. These damaging
patterns can recur for generations.
Field
constellations are a way to look at these distortions of order. As the
distortion becomes evident through the work, a phenomenological process
can begin to restore order, so that we can live in peace with all that
is, including ourselves, our families, our businesses, histories, and
ancestors.
How does a session work?
Sessions
shall primarily occur in group. Since this is a structural rather then
relational approach to family dynamics, not much personal sharing is
required. Necessary information for a constellation are
simple facts, such as who belonged to your family, and important events
that have impacted your family. Some examples of events this philosophy pays attention to: early
deaths, loss and gain of substantial status or land, illnesses,
disabilities, and other life altering events. This information is needed
to understand the particular structure of your family system. Where
psychology focusses on how family members relate, constellations
focusses on who is part of the family and is excluded in our memory. Any sharing in a group
setting shall be limited to that kind of information, please. Less, in this instance, is more.
Constellations
begin with exploring what has been going on in our family’s field. The
initial guides are the everyday issues in our lives, which open a space
for us to look at
the traumas, distortions, and imbalances that our
family has been carrying, perhaps for generations. You select colored
mats to signify the different components of an issue: Members of your
family (current or past), nationalities, organizations, or issues of
health
or
work. You place them onto the floor, creating the first image to work
with. Moving the Colored Fields (Mats) is what guides the process of
healing and restoring order.
This
work is profound and deep. It engages our mind’s immense powers for
holistic awareness that complements but does not replace our
intellectual, analytic skills or other therapeutic models.
Because
the work deals with the deep currents in a family, Andrea approaches
the work with respect, openness, and humility, while maintaining the
most important of all:
a safe space to deal with even the worst traumas.
Any
constellation is benefited by a prior geno-chart-session in which
the family structure is fully assessed. This consultation will also
provide you feedback in regards to a need for a family constellation,
and if there is one, which lineage would be the appropriate one to set
up. A Geno-Chart Session can be done one-on-one. It
is a stand alone intervention which has proven to be most successful in
processing family trauma, as well as bringing clarity to 'what's going
on' within the deepest level of your human connection (family).
How did the orders of love (constellations) develop?
Bert Hellinger
developed this work from his diverse experiences as a missionary to the
Zulu for 16 years and then his practice of psychotherapy in many forms
(primal, gestalt, NLP, and others). He has taught all over the globe for
the past 25 years and has written many excellent books describing the
process.
Building on Hellinger’s work, Claudia Szombathy-Kraus (previously: Mengel) developed
the work of the Colored Fields (Mats). This method starts with a
picture of mats (colored fields), and within this process our rational
mind becomes blindfolded. Participants are not influenced by their own
ideas when sharing what they experience in or on a particular field.
Though subtly conveyed, the information from the participants provides
clear direction about the issue at hand.
Fundamentally, though, this work is ancient in origin. It builds on the Indigenous knowledge that we are all connected, even across death, and that how we relate shapes our lives. As Einstein said, “The field forms the thing, not the other way around.”
In
short, we are each born into our family field with all its richness and
complexities; this we cannot change. However, when damaging patterns
take over, constellations engage the butterfly effect to right them.
Because of our relatedness, even the smallest, most subtle shifts carry
great power and can be used for healing. As one participant said, “This
is Field Theory at its best!”
Frequently asked Questions:
Do I have to work if attending a workshop?
Everyone
present at the seminar experiences the transformative power (insights, healing) of the
work simply by participating in a session, whether that is as an
observer, representative, or actually as one to set up a constellation.
If I choose to work on an issue in my life, what questions might I pose?
- Health issues: mental, emotional, and physical;
- Trauma: abuse, violence, murders, adoptions, loss of children;
- Relationships: matters of the heart, families, children, adults including professional and organizational structures;
- Career and business questions;
- Past-life issues.
What do I need to know about my family?
We work with the information you have.
Bring whatever you know. The rest will unfold through the process.
If you prefer to prepare yourself, the Geno-Chart-Process is a great way to start and focus.
Do family members need to be present?
No, and neither do you need to talk to them about the session afterward. This is for you.
Moreover,
the power of the work lies in the field, the family soul. It’s not talk
therapy. And therefore no sharing on a conscious level is necessary to
create a shift or change.
What do I do after the session?
Keep the process alive. Don’t talk too much about it, please. Rest. Take a shower. Have fun.
Let the constellation come and go in your mind as it will. It’s doing its work.
If
you feel 'stuck' in your emotional, physical or mental process after a
constellation (which may occur), I suggest energy work,
body work, or contacting me.
I am always available via email
or phone for follow up!
After each seminar
I provide recommendations to body & energy workers that are
familiar with the constellation process and how to support you through
it.
